I feel better today, more energetic. I know it’s going to be an ebb and flow kind of thing energy wise, because I’m detoxing years upon years of acidic poison.  There are other factors too, the fact that I didn’t have to be on my feet as long at work, and I went to bed a little earlier the night before.  Still adapting.

So today in my meeting at work, they had several boxes of cheesecake, chocolate cake and other desserts, none of which pulled at me at all, surprisingly.  My coworker offered me a piece of chocolate.  I just say “I’m trying very hard…” They understand that.  The “diet” mentality.  D said, after offering me a taste of what he was drinking, “I’m sorry, I forgot you’re on your diet thing.”  Totally genuine and innocent.  He just doesn’t know what else to call it.  I haven’t done much talking and discussing, because the talk doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.  If someone asks, I guess I will generally explain what I’m doing.  My action will be a far more powerful message.  Ultimately, though, I’m not here to convince anyone of anything.  I just want to do what works for me.  I want to craft my own life and do what I believe is most beneficial for myself.

I caught myself going into the fridge.  For what!   A moment of anxiety.  I just closed it back again and walked away.  Now as I’m sitting here typing this, I smell the smell of rotisserie chicken cooking, and I’m getting ready to go cook a rice side dish.  Proud of myself for not being pulled in.   It’s been 7 years since I learned the truth about how we are killing ourselves and how we can save ourselves by getting out of our body’s way.  7 years of wanting to live this lifestyle in my mind, but always giving in to everything around me. After so many failures, I hope I’m strong enough now to succeed.

Recent revelations: 1. Don’t look down the road. Just focus on what you’re doing today, and live according to your purpose.  2.  Stay out of the mirror.  What you see is not the real you, and the mind plays tricks and tells stories that are mentally damaging.  3. Pick a regular interval to go back and read your journal.  Enjoy seeing how far you’ve come.