I feel pretty ok today. Still the same aches as usual, but less of the sluggish fog that comes from digestion of crappy foods.  Yesterday I ate grapes, dried figs, 2 avocados, 1/2 gallon of water, and I caved and had a bowl of elbow macaroni with vegan mayo.  Sitting around, procrastinating, not doing anything, avoiding doing what I say I want to do (avoiding the “I suck” feeling) contributed to this breakdown.  For a moment I also felt like I didn’t even want it.  Ate it anyway.  This is such a deeply rooted, physiological disorder. I am determined to free myself of it.

But even with that, I don’t feel too bad.  Things like macaroni aren’t going to be ok for me, because of the level of health I want to achieve.  Maybe I should start thinking of my choices as banking on a better tomorrow, literally, because I remember (when I tried to do this before) feeling so grateful that I didn’t eat that {whatever} and physically .001% cleaner inside. I wonder if I should start sharing my thoughts/activities on social media. Is it too soon?  I have a vision of myself arriving at a higher point on my journey, and wanting to have my process documented.