It’s a chicken and egg question.

Does depression lead to self-sabotage?  Or does self-sabotage lead to depression?

Does it even matter?

Everything begins in the mind, however subtly.  The mind.  The great tool inside my head that creates all my stories, beliefs and problems.  My conscious mind has been working very hard lately to help me make some dramatic changes.

My subconscious mind is just doing what it does.  It plays the tape.

Recently I fell into somewhat of a depressed state, the kind we all go through at one time or another.  Partly stress-induced, I think.  I’m not out of the woods, because the stress is still there, I can just see it more clearly after a night’s rest.  I lost focus on my plan.  I let my mind wander.  I didn’t do the critical mental renewal.  And when the conscious mind goes on a holiday break, the subconscious mind takes the controls and you start doing all the things that you are pre-programmed to do.  All the old habits.  It’s all been pre-recorded on a dusty-old cassette player.  Dr. Bruce Lipton explained it perfectly.

This morning I stepped on the scale to see how much damage I had done, and I’m five pounds over what I wanted to be right now.  😞

I have to stay on this.  I have to stay strong.  I have to remain conscious.  I have to read my declaration 3x a day.  I have to work like a freaking mad woman because I HAVE TO move my life forward.  This is just the tip of the iceberg.